How To Be A Gracious Host To Your Alien Conqueror

by Danny Adams

Illustrated by Teresa Tunaley

Never complain about long lines
at the gas pump
caused by billion-gallon spaceships.

Reality shows
are not in vogue
beyond the Kuiper Belt.

Parasitical itching
is perfectly normal.
Don’t scratch in public.

Never insist,
“You’re in North America,
speak English.”

Remember the Beings
prefer their pets on short leashes
to those roaming wild and free.